3 AM
WOW... I haven't used this since grade 7... does anyone use this anymore lol?Well, I'm having sleeping problems right now and a website said to write out what's on your mind, and this is the first thing that came up in my head.
There has been so many things happening in my life, I dont even know how to react to them. Different questions keep popping in my head. Am I growing too fast, where am I heading, how do I take a U-turn when I'm already so deep into this path I took. I know I took the wrong path, but I know if I really wanted to turn back I would. Am I too addicted to this path? I know when 1 year ago - many years ago, I learned to not get sucked into the rest of this "world." I know this year, I have joined this "society," I know it was the wrong path, but it feels so FREE, FUN, ADDICTING. I feel so ALIVE. However, the alive feeling last for maybe couple hours.. than the next day I want to feel it again. I want it, I crave it. I never craved it so much until this week. I don't know why, but I feel this week I've been breaking down slowly inside... I want to let everything go, and there is only one answer I knew that could make me feel so STRESS FREE. This didn't help when one of my bestfriends, was also breaking down and she stayed with me for 2 weeks. Therefore, I guess we both dealed with it in the same way...? The problem, is I dont even know what is the problem! That is the thing that is really pissing me off! Seriously, I look back to my life, I'm really lucky with what I have. Compared to many people, my life is pretty good. However, there is still something missing! I just can't put my finger on it, but I feel like I need to fill it up. I dont know what it is.. but hopefully I find it soon =]...
FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS.... I look through pictures when I get bored... most of the pictures I have with people, I DONT EVEN TALK TO OR DONT EVEN LIKE THEM ANYMOREEE!!! What is wrong with mee... seriously?? The ones that hurt the most looking though were the "family" pictures... We were all so close, made summer plans and everything. I had the most fun with them.. Now it just broke out of NO WHERE... It's really sad when you think about it... It's not even them that is breakin up, it's like I'm loosing everyone that I really care about. One thing that I really learned in life so far, nothing goes the way you planned it to be... and friends come and go besides the true ones =]...
OMG IT'S ALMOST 4!!! my dad is gonna wake up and kill me... lol
one more thingg lol... to get all this stress outtt!!!
BOYS ARE SO STUPID SOMETIMESS...
text text text text text text text... hang hang hang hang hang... text me tomm... text themm.. no answeerrr... UGHH!! yeah I know im over reacting but it's driving me NUTSSS!!! UGHHH!!! now i offically got all my stress into my pageee lol =]
Priscilla out at 3:22 AM lol =]
posted by xo.pepper @ 2:57 a.m.
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