Live, Learn & Laugh

Personalityy....

Mhmm... Since last time I posted when I couldn't sleep, I realized I actually like writing these blogs. It really helps relieve your stress. Maybe, unlike last time I'll continue writing in these blogs. I've been going through some of my old blogs, and wow I could barely understand me. This wasn't even that long ago either. I wonder, if this even make sence. Probably, 2 years from now I'll look back at these posts and won't even understand them. I actually, don't even know what to write. I just wanted to write for some reason so whatever comes to my mind lol.

I am such a procrastinator, it's horrible. I had 2 weeks to do a bunch of theory homework and I have done 2 questions! This is all due this saturday, I wonder if i will ever get out of the habit of putting everything last minute. It's not even piano homework, school homework, it is EVERYTHING. It's always later, later, later and I always have to cram everything in. It's actually a horrible habit to get. I don't even know how I'm going to finish all this homework before saturday. UGH. Oh well, I always make it work at the end some how. It's difficult but it always works.

mhmm.. Let's describe Priscilla = Loud, Hyper, Weird, Seems happy all the time, Talkative, Not shy. All those things, you would think I could talk to EVERYONE. In my opinion, one thing that is wrong with me that my dad has also brought up is, I never step up. I am always in my own bubble, never step out of my comfort zone. Yeah I'm loud, hyper, weird, etc. With everyone in my "comfort" zone. Once I'm out of my comfort zone, it is as if someone glued my lips together. I DO NOT TALK! My dad even noticed he always says, "Why can't you talk to the person first?" However, that is my personality. If you don't talk to me first, I ain't talking to you first. You can count on that. Also, if you are not in my "comfort" zone expect that I will be a mouse. For example I met 2 guys. My friends and I hanged out with them for 1 or 2 weeks, I WAS A MOUSE LITERALLY! They asked me if I was a mute, because all my friends were jumping everywhere, flirting like crazy! I'm just standing in the corner not talkin, I know it doesn't sound like me if you know me. However, I talked a litte bit more, and more, and more everytime we hanged out. Now that I know them pretty well, and they are in my "comfort" zone. I talk like crazy just like before. I just wish I wasn't like that, I want to step out of my "bubble." Or I will never learn new things, take risks, meet new people, take big steps that people take to succed in life. That is one thing I wanna change about my personality.

Another thing I would like to change about my personality, is that I was more upfront. I rather tell the person that is bugging me to their face. Not back-stabbing, it's stupid. One thing I promise myself to do is be straight forward with people, get out of my bubble, talk to the people that have a problem with me, try to fix things with people. Atleast you know you have done your part and you can't do anything about it if they don't accept it.

posted by xo.pepper @ 12:14 a.m.

3 AM

WOW... I haven't used this since grade 7... does anyone use this anymore lol?
Well, I'm having sleeping problems right now and a website said to write out what's on your mind, and this is the first thing that came up in my head.

There has been so many things happening in my life, I dont even know how to react to them. Different questions keep popping in my head. Am I growing too fast, where am I heading, how do I take a U-turn when I'm already so deep into this path I took. I know I took the wrong path, but I know if I really wanted to turn back I would. Am I too addicted to this path? I know when 1 year ago - many years ago, I learned to not get sucked into the rest of this "world." I know this year, I have joined this "society," I know it was the wrong path, but it feels so FREE, FUN, ADDICTING. I feel so ALIVE. However, the alive feeling last for maybe couple hours.. than the next day I want to feel it again. I want it, I crave it. I never craved it so much until this week. I don't know why, but I feel this week I've been breaking down slowly inside... I want to let everything go, and there is only one answer I knew that could make me feel so STRESS FREE. This didn't help when one of my bestfriends, was also breaking down and she stayed with me for 2 weeks. Therefore, I guess we both dealed with it in the same way...? The problem, is I dont even know what is the problem! That is the thing that is really pissing me off! Seriously, I look back to my life, I'm really lucky with what I have. Compared to many people, my life is pretty good. However, there is still something missing! I just can't put my finger on it, but I feel like I need to fill it up. I dont know what it is.. but hopefully I find it soon =]...

FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS.... I look through pictures when I get bored... most of the pictures I have with people, I DONT EVEN TALK TO OR DONT EVEN LIKE THEM ANYMOREEE!!! What is wrong with mee... seriously?? The ones that hurt the most looking though were the "family" pictures... We were all so close, made summer plans and everything. I had the most fun with them.. Now it just broke out of NO WHERE... It's really sad when you think about it... It's not even them that is breakin up, it's like I'm loosing everyone that I really care about. One thing that I really learned in life so far, nothing goes the way you planned it to be... and friends come and go besides the true ones =]...

OMG IT'S ALMOST 4!!! my dad is gonna wake up and kill me... lol

one more thingg lol... to get all this stress outtt!!!

BOYS ARE SO STUPID SOMETIMESS...

text text text text text text text... hang hang hang hang hang... text me tomm... text themm.. no answeerrr... UGHH!! yeah I know im over reacting but it's driving me NUTSSS!!! UGHHH!!! now i offically got all my stress into my pageee lol =]

Priscilla out at 3:22 AM lol =]

posted by xo.pepper @ 2:57 a.m.